R.E.M. Intensive
This work sits within the Classroom — a collection of guided learning experiences.
A Mentorship Intensive Rooted in Real Formation
R.E.M. is a guided space shaped by presence.
It is where truth is given time, and where those willing to remain present long enough see formation take shape.
This work asks for attention, consistency, and restraint —allowing what is forming to emerge over time.
The Shape of the Work
There are three things this space does well — not as ideals to reach for, but as disciplines to live.
Commitment — staying with the work, even when the truth is uncomfortable.
Formation — understanding that identity is shaped through patience and humility, not rushed into clarity.
Discernment — getting to the root, learning when to name, when to wait, and when to move.
This mentorship is not about producing shallow outcomes. It is about shaping who you are over time.
How This Space Is Held
This intensive is mentor-led and relational.
It is structured with care, allowing space for reflection and integration.
Language, insight, and understanding are not forced, but given time to arrive.
Silence is not treated as absence, and questions are understood as part of the work, not interruptions.
Guidance is present throughout the process, and community is formed,
while responsibility for engagement remains with the participant.
Returning to Who You Were Created to Be
The person God intended you to be is not lost — but often obscured.
Over time, many learn to manage outcomes instead of tending to what is forming within.
This space invites a different posture.
One that loosens control, attends to what is true, and cultivates the capacity to move forward with clarity and intention.
Transformation Begins Within
" This program was not only touching but it was also fruitful towards the knowledge and a lot of us gained an understanding of how relations and self discipline is key. It was a very interesting program and very relatable. We learned lessons that could be applied while in custody and out of custody. We were challenged to have an open mind and inspired to see things from other perspectives and engaged in educational interactive topics that change with everyday situations. This type of program is rehabilitative, encouraging and helping us to utilize what we have learned in this program"
-Group Response
So every tree that does not produce good fruit is chopped down and thrown into the fire. Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions. Matthew 7:19-20
Transformation Begins Within
" This program was not only touching but it was also fruitful towards the knowledge and a lot of us gained an understanding of how relations and self discipline is key. It was a very interesting program and very relatable. We learned lessons that could be applied while in custody and out of custody. We were challenged to have an open mind and inspired to see things from other perspectives and engaged in educational interactive topics that change with everyday situations. This type of program is rehabilitative, encouraging and helping us to utilize what we have learned in this program"
-Group Response
So every tree that does not produce good fruit is chopped down and thrown into the fire. Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions. Matthew 7:19-20
How This Work Is Walked
12 Weeks of Formation
This work unfolds over twelve weeks and asks for active participation. It is held through reading, dialogue, prayer, creative practice, and lived assignments.
Guidance is provided throughout, but responsibility for engagement remains with the participant. This is not observational work—it calls for consistency, honesty, and follow-through. Those who enter should be prepared to be challenged, not by information, but by practice.
Reading
This work is grounded in shared reading from my memoir, C.O.L.A. — Casualty of Love’s Apologies. The text is approached as a work of witness—not simply a good read, but a lived record meant to be engaged with seriously and thoughtfully. Nervousness around being seen, named, or misunderstood often surfaces when story is involved. By naming my own story first, space is made for others to engage honestly with their own. Each week, specific chapters are read and held for reflection and dialogue. Questions are welcomed, but the work does not remain at discussion—it moves toward recognition and practice. This book is explicit and includes difficult material. Participants are expected to engage with maturity, discernment, and personal responsibility.
Virtual Meeting
This work is held through live, virtual group meetings. Sessions are conversational and relational, creating room for dialogue, shared reflection, and real-time engagement. We meet twice a week, and the space is shaped by those who show up—whether they are listening, speaking, or simply learning to be present. Participation is encouraged but not forced here. Many begin quietly and find their voice as trust forms over time, just as others learn how to listen, make room, and share space more generously. What matters most is presence, thoughtful contribution, and a willingness to stay with the work. Some of the most meaningful transformations come from those who are engaged rather than passive in their attendance.
Assignments
This work includes regular creative assignments designed to move insight into practice. Each week may involve free writing, creative exercises, reflective questions, or recorded responses. These practices are not meant to perform or impress, but to surface what is true and bring it into lived awareness. Some assignments may feel unfamiliar or stretching at first. Over time, they create space for honesty, discipline, and integration. The goal is not productivity, but formation—learning to engage your inner life with intention and follow-through.
What's In The Bible?
Scripture is engaged here as a source of wisdom that speaks to lived experience. Each week, stories from the Bible are paired with the focus of the work, connecting Scripture to the theme being explored through real human encounters with obedience, resistance, repentance, and renewal. These teachings are offered as grounding and context, with Scripture available as an additional resource rather than a central activity. This work approaches the Bible with reverence and honesty, allowing it to clarify, challenge, and shape understanding over time. Participants are invited to engage thoughtfully, whether they come with long-standing faith or genuine curiosity. The emphasis is not on agreement or mastery, but on attention, discernment, and application.
Poetry
Poetry is used here as a practice of attention and listening. Its rhythm and imagery help interrupt habitual thinking and create space for insight to surface without force. This work invites participants to sit with language, notice what rises, and remain present to what is being named internally. The practice is simple but intentional, often brief, and meant to cultivate stillness, imagination, and discernment. Over time, poetry becomes a way of learning how to listen more carefully—to language, to self, and to what is forming beneath the surface.
Prayer
Prayer is held here as a practice of attention, dependence, and honesty before God. It creates space to name what cannot be carried alone and to remain present to what is forming beneath the surface. This work does not treat prayer as a tool for control or immediate change, but as a posture that shapes how we listen, respond, and relate to one another over time.
Prayer was not originally a central practice in this work. It emerged organically during a recent intensive, and over time became a steady presence—shifting the atmosphere, lifting what felt heavy, and grounding participants in ways that surprised many of them. Prayer is a significant part of my own discipline and is practiced here both personally and communally, often quietly, sometimes with words, always with intention. Through consistency rather than intensity, prayer becomes a way of learning to stay open, interdependent, and grounded in truth—especially when there are no words to say.
The Role of Story
Story has long been a way people make sense of what they’ve lived. Within learning, culture, and community, storytelling helps surface meaning, memory, and understanding that often remain unspoken. Here, story is not used to persuade or perform, but to notice what has been carried and to give it language.
Memory & Retention
What is learned through story tends to remain. Narrative engages memory differently than information alone, allowing understanding to take root and resurface when needed.
Empathy
Listening to another person’s story allows us to step outside our own perspective. Through shared experience, understanding deepens and connection becomes possible without instruction or agreement.
Key to Healing
Healing often begins when a person is able to tell their own story in their own words. Naming what has been lived — even when it is difficult — allows experience to be integrated rather than carried alone. Recovery does not require reliving every detail, but creating space for truth to be spoken and held.
This posture has been lived by others.
Dear Cola, I appreciate your story. You have connected with me with your story on a different level and I really want to say thank you for being so brave. I’ve recently gotten out of a 2.5 year relationship and I was and have been absolutely miserable and hopeless. I didn’t want to get out of bed.
This program has been very therapeutic for me. You’ve given me hope to keep my head up and do better. Thank you.
— classroom workshop participant.
Voices of Witness
Things People Ask Before Entering This Work
For those considering whether this work is a fit.This work is offered in defined cycles rather than on a rolling basis. Investment is not discussed without first discerning whether the work is a fit—for you and for the space being formed.
When a new cycle is approaching, conversations are opened with those who have expressed interest. Details around investment are shared clearly and directly at that time.
This process is intentional. Entry is guided by readiness, not urgency.
If this approach resonates and you would like to be considered for a future cycle, you may express interest below.
No outcome is guaranteed here. Insight on its own does not produce change. What matters most is how someone engages with the work over time.
This space invites attention, practice, and honesty. Simply being present is meaningful, but transformation tends to unfold when participants remain engaged—willing to reflect, try, and stay with what emerges, even when it feels uncomfortable.
Many experience real shifts through this process, not because breakthrough is promised, but because the conditions are created for growth to take place. The depth of what unfolds is shaped by the care, consistency, and openness one brings to the work.
R.E.M. refers to a stage of sleep associated with deep processing. It is often when what has been carried beneath the surface begins to be integrated.
This work draws on that idea. Many people move through life managing outcomes while remaining unaware of the deeper narratives, hurts, or patterns shaping them.
The R.E.M. mentorship intensive invites intentional attention to both past and present — not to relive experiences, but to notice what has been carried and how it continues to inform the future. The goal is greater clarity, peace, and the ability to live from a more truthful and grounded place.
Yes, in certain contexts. Shorter workshops or sessions are sometimes offered as introductions to the themes explored in R.E.M., particularly in institutional or group settings.
These gatherings are not replacements for the mentorship intensive. They are designed to open language, surface questions, and invite reflection—not to complete the work itself.
When offered, workshops are shaped with the same care and intention, while remaining appropriately bounded in scope.
If you are exploring this work for an organization or group, you may schedule a conversation to discern fit.
Collaborations
Every great change begins with a single moment. What follows are some of the spaces where that seed has been planted—and where transformation has taken shape.
“I would like to thank you for sharing your story with my class. I absolutely loved every activity we did. Your story was very touching and the way you were telling it and then you would smile or laugh I could see how strong you are and it inspired me to be more happy and positive.”