I love a man who is unavailable
And although he is not my husband
Not now or in future tense
I still want the best for him and to know that he’s ok
You can say that maybe my heart grew a lil sick waiting for him to care
Waiting for him to want to share a life with me
And now that it’s here I can’t accept it
You see he loves me
I just know
Mostly cause he told me so
But our history was kept a mystery and the unveiling has uncovered the failings of proper guidance as children
The boogie monster
Opened its cage at a young age
entangling our maturity in an era we can’t get back to
To what do I owe this pleasure?
We measured our life’s experiences by the amount of people in our bed
Which lead us down a path that kept us distracted and detached
Lost, lustful and loving life but Jesus snatched me, cleansed me and called me a wife & wife to be see
Temptation has been calling me
While life has been stalling me
with My breakthrough so near
I shed a tear feeling torn about the love I wanted and the I love want
To be valued and treasured
Faithfulness unmeasured
I wish for a relationship with
Communication cherished
Not having to settle and watch a love perish
If we perish in love
It is to give way to the kingdom’s establishment
We were meant to be
Designed to see
The test of our love weathered through
Storms of our bodies to be pleasured, nothing tethered or severed
But fruitful and multiplied
In the context of union
The tune we sing being healed and unbroken
Devotion Unspoken
Double minded never minded chaos in a quest to win souls bound to sin
In case it wasn’t clear this has been a 10 year dedication to abstinence and peace within
And I can see the plans of the enemy unfolding right before me trying to win
But im stuck in a trance being lead
In a direction without protection
Visions of a taste longing to be tasted
A play longing to be played
I could have stayed in an engagement
But my father said no
So why would I waste my waist and that peace for a moment to get laced and tied down in an immoral unfruitful embrace
That would Place a war between my body, heart, mind and spirit every time I go near it
Fear it may be a battle I need more prayer for
It’s more than I can handle so I asked God to set fire to the appetite because I can’t compromise my future desire for 30 seconds of fire
Heart you’re a liar!
The dire need to feed my emotions with an emotionally unavailable man
I cannot understand
For I love a man who is unobtainable
Stable in body
Broken in spirit
And as for talking about God? He won’t even go near it
Unequally yoked
But our souls were tied
Tried to rid myself of the feelings inside
But my body’s dealing restlessly
Knowing preciously how this ends
Telling myself I will truly love again
When it’s my time
I won’t have to worry about loving an unavailable man
I understand he has his own cross to bear
Healing all of the wear an tear
Warnings that the time is near
Not wanting him to be lost in despair
Thinking no one cares
I text him and just stare perplexed
Can you spare a moment of your time to text me back please
An opportunity so rare
I’m longing to be in his presence
Presenting him with an open heart and listening hear
Truthfully , I shouldn’t even be here so it’s just best if I leave him alone
