Excerpt
He once told me, “If I had met you first, things would’ve been different.” And for a while, I believed it. It felt like timing had robbed me of something that could’ve been mine.
But as I grew, I realised it wasn’t just about meeting first — it was about whether God designed it at all. I’ve watched God stop relationships that looked better than anything I’d known, and I’ve also felt the pull of connections that never truly belonged to me.
Sometimes what I’m grieving isn’t the person — it’s the future I imagined. And sometimes the greatest protection is God closing doors I was ready to walk through.
I’m learning that not every strong connection is meant to become a life. Some things are meant to teach me, not keep me.
Reflection
I’m learning that “almost” can feel like destiny when I’m lonely, tired, or hungry for love—but almost is not a covenant. Almost is not covering. Almost is not peace.
And sometimes the most loving thing God does is stop me—not because I’m being punished, but because He’s protecting me from building a future on a foundation that can’t hold it.
I don’t want to be bound by fear. I don’t want to live off crumbs just because I’m used to crumbs. I don’t want to call “unavailable” normal. I don’t want to call “halfway” commitment. I don’t want to make a home inside someone’s confusion and then call it love.
I want what God designed. Even if it takes longer. Even if it requires grief. Even if I have to walk away from what feels good in the moment to get to what’s actually good for my life.
Because I’m not here to be miserable. I’m not here to shrink. I’m not here to settle and then pretend it’s peace.
I’m here to heal. I’m here to grow. I’m here to love in truth.
Prompts
Have you ever mourned a relationship that never fully became what you hoped it would be?
What is the difference between “almost love” and a relationship that is truly safe and aligned?
Where have you been tempted to settle because you were afraid nothing better existed?
What boundaries do you need to set—emotionally, spiritually, or relationally—to protect your healing?
What would it look like to grieve what could’ve been, without letting it delay your future?
Listen
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