One click
One lick
Feels lit but one must sit through the degrading of a soul to complete the transaction
Miss me with the just hold on to Jesus is what they say
Cause Jesus wasn’t there for me when they came and then came
Leaving a permanent stain on the place where love used to be
See I tell the stories of not just me
But the millions who suffer silently
Violently triggered by the masking of our souls
All you see is night after night
And never knife after knife
The cutting of years
I’ve sown tears that feel like it could fill the oceans or give rain in the places of drought
I’m casting doubt like a net tryna catch fish
Catch this I’m hoping that this nigga comes ready
Cums already for this high to hit my veins
Who said there’s no pleasure in pain
I’m blaming you
I’m blaming me
Blaming is key to keeping me in the cycle
I used to believe in love and a man named Michael
But he took my brain and split it
Had me doped up on I love you’s
But tied down with I’m all you need
Leading me down a dangerous path of physiological games
He said he could break me so I’d never be the same
I was shamed into thinking love was a game but only hurt came
Dirty talks at night
Loving this life filled with endless possibilities
Do I want him
Do I want her
Do they want me?
Striving to be accepted cause they don’t accept ones like me in man’s religion
Like a dirty pigeon they chased me away
Faced with defeat I treated my wounds the only way I knew how
I knew now that the taste I had laced my eyes with
the naked rub and tub and the sound of sweet surrender
Rendered my emotions unsatisfied
Needing that lie
I lied down
Without a sound
Awaiting my next hit
Sometimes it fit
Sometimes it didn’t
But the minute I went without
All the fears, mirrors and shouts pulled me back in it
Telling me I’ve gone too far in this life
I’m just a hoe and not a wife
The biggest strife of my life is fighting this addiction
It’s mixed in with porn
It’s mixed in with sex
It’s mixed in with traumas and a fear of what’s next
I’m crying out to be blessed
I’m crying out to be free
I’m crying out for real peace and intimacy
I need God’s increase and for him to give me a new lease
Release me from the darkness
Destroy the holds that hold me
Take me and mold me
Use me and loose me
I didn’t know just what I was asking for
Or what exactly was in store but he was
Wrecking me with his Reckless love
I felt this love but didn’t know it to be true
In the alleyway he saw me
In the bedrooms he heard me
Hurt for me wanting me to believe it gets better
But I was too broken to find the words
Absurd that I was willing to give up the fight
I preferred death over life
Yet He girded me for the battles up head
Protected me against the battles in my own head
Cleansed me
Clothed me
Forgave me
And He saved me from the dead
Changing my heart and mind to conceptualise that One day I will be wed
Same day I’ll be lead down the alter a prepared heart without falter
I no longer fault her for the pains that she endured
I heard a word say
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls
Lessons of gold
Told through the heart of one man
Can the love of one save the souls of many?
There are plenty of reasons to not believe this could be true
But that choice is up to you
Stay broken or be made knew
It was the experience that changed my life
Not what they said
Or what they quoted
Cause the same ones who give love mocked
The same ones who gave life knocked the wind out
But to be sought out is special
To be brought out is precious
To be thought about was everything my soul needed
To be taught how to heal and love unconditionally
Cause Traditionally we were taught about religion but nutritionally I was taught about relationships, love and patience
As patient as he was with me
I will be patient with you
So we can let the true view of your heart finally smile
Cause… yu know
it’s been awhile
