If you’ve never felt a gravitational pull towards someone you won’t understand this conversation
There’s a nation of people who are ignorant to the fact that my spirit longs for his spirit
And although physically I can’t go near it or him
I find myself fighting my body
Fighting my mind
Fighting the feelings that were left behind
A story incomplete but never to be completed of a connection too deep to be depleted
I’ve moved on many years over but feelings for him take over when I’m put in a situation of truth
Truth is we were unaware of the flare of our spirits and memories dance every chance we unveil them
Tempting us the more we share
We care for one another but although life has pulled us in different directions
This connection
This pull
This invisible need
Fills the greed from this one time chance encounter
In a bed outside of marriage
Our spirits lay in the carriage that shows up in nonidentical stages in life
A wife is what I longed to be but this waiting period has me confronting real emotions I never knew I had
Sad how it laid hidden like a villain waiting to strike at the wrong time
These hidden taste break marriages a part unbeknownst to the parties their past
Has blasted through a crack they never saw
Never tended to
Never intended to get lost in this other human but the new man in me has me questioning my authority
To cast out
to break ties
To repent of any lies I’ve held on to
You were meant to be my soul mate
But as fate would have it
he was never the one
Sung tunes of sad love songs on repeat until another suitor I did meet
Seated in the depths of deception I tied yet another knot
Hoping this new person I sought would soothe my soul
It’s like a bowl of Cheerios all drawn together on one side of the bowl tipped
I dipped my spoon in and tried to take just one but the others followed
I swallowed more than intended
Stuffed to the brim but hungry again in 30 seconds the empty calories I empty inside of me doesn’t last
I compare this to the trail of men in my past
Ingesting more while falling to the floor crying out to God and saying no more!
My soul is beyond sore
Untie me from these Souls connected to me so that the spirit inside me can finally soar
You tore the veil so I could sail through life protected
I wrecked my life but your grace covered me
All so I could see the importance of your love being all I needed to feel peace
My new lease on life is to seek you first
Seek you only
Seek you when I’m feelin lonely
So that I no longer tie myself to those who try to own me
Disown me
But manipulate me with love
Loved who I was becoming independently
before the lies tied me up
I cried at the destructive path
Felt life’s wrath but kept going
I was growing up to be a women strong
A woman overcoming being wronged
A woman who longed to be free
From the souls they said could never be tied to me
We Thank God for the faith of those who had eyes to see
And a voice to be the deliverance
Against life’s belligerence
I am equivalently grateful for the freedom of me
my soul
And all souls to be
