Relationship Rollercoaster
Forever chasin those that don't want me
Yet rejecting those that do
With each beginning
The ending remains the same
Yur a cool person
A great friend
But somethings lackin
To make the greater connection
Greater transformation
From friends
To lovers
And beyond
With each fail I tack a nail in the box holdin all my love
Love for another
Who's not my father sister motha true friend or seed is stale
I finally realized
N devised a plan to keep my love secure
When there's a cure for heartbreak jus lemme kno
Jus lemme kno when its safe for real love to flow
Or when yur man enough to see a real relationship grow
I showed yu the type of woman I am
Showed yu I'm the type of woman to stand by her man
Showed yu everythin I could provide
I mussa seemed too good to be true
Yu ran up
Grabbed my heart
Broke it in two
Then dipped tripped n trampled on my
Emotions n self esteem
Leavin me to ask questions Is it me?
How could it be that I allowed myself to get caught up?
I seem to be runnin a drive thru
Open late
Attractin the same kinda customers
Through my gates
Tryna up my game an clientele
But my addictive goodies and low standards keep em comin back for more
N keep the same crowd knockin at my door
Its a damn shame
Got no more love running through these veins
Got no more love fo all dese games
Terrified of rejection
And unwilling to seek a new truth
I stay bounded
An strapped on to this rollercoaster
Taking me through the journeys of relationships
No stops
No release
Travellin high speeds
Screamin my lungs out
Butterflies in my stomach
As I drop
Built up tension to the top
What appears to be forever
Was over within seconds
Take deep breaths
My heart races
Then I open my eyes to see
I'm right back where I started
As much as I'm afraid of heights
I keep comin on the same damn ride
As much as I'm afraid of relationships
I keep occupyin my time with the same type of guys
Will I never learn?
The cycles we entertain become the center of the pain
I had come to a place where the cycles just wouldn't stop and I realized that I was part of the problem. I allowed myself to be entertained, wooed and blind sided by different men with the same character. The only way to be released was if I stepped off the ride myself. I wanted to take my power back, the authority that I gave away so freely, and build myself back to the woman I knew I was supposed to be. I needed to step outside of confusion and disillusionment into clarity, and there I would be, finally able to see the patterns that kept me enslaved. This realization is what brought me the peace I finally got to step into. This piece was born from that pain.
Reflection Prompt
What cycles have you been entertaining that no longer serve the woman you are becoming?
Where might clarity be asking you to step off the ride?
Lips and Poetry
This piece was originally performed as part of the Lips & Poetry series, where spoken word meets lived experience. The video features the process of lip design set to the audio of the poem, allowing the words to unfold alongside the art being created. Watch the original recording below to experience the rhythm, breath, and emotion that first carried these words, with the final design revealed at the end.