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Meet Again: Lips & Poetry

April 14, 2026 by
Meet Again: Lips & Poetry
Lips and Language

I Told God

I told God that if kaykay left I'd go with him.
After 8 years I can't imagine a life of 365 without him by my side.
Guess I lied cause I'm still here.
Year one survived, thriving only by grace and mercy
I cried mercy as I lost my apartment, my finances, my son, my everything
Thinking of the identity of a woman I no longer knew
Thinking of my life as a mother that seemed to good to be true
Truth is I feel like the last 8 years have been a dream
Dreaming of a life with an angel that always smiled
I smile through the pain like he did
I smile through the rain like he did
Keeping sane in God's lane like he did
52 weeks and I keep reminding myself that he's happy
Happiness is all I ever wanted
Haunted by the disrespect of a disease
I've fallen to my knees committing to keep my sight on God, trusting his lead cause my new journey is starting from a seed
I would call year one a success, new job, new car, returned home, I'm blessed
Stretched thin but mentally resting through the testings of life
I told God that if kaykay left I'd go with him.
After 9 years I couldn't imagine a life of 12 months without him by my side.
Guess I lied
But since God never leaves my side I chose to live and enjoy the ride to my destiny
Destined to be free
Till we meet again

Adieu

Reflection & Context

This piece took me a year to finally write because it was written in the raw aftermath of loss — when grief had stripped away stability, identity, and certainty all at once. It comes from the place of bargaining with God, of believing that life could not continue without the one who had become the center of my world, and then waking up to the truth that breath was still in my body, even when my heart felt shattered.

It reflects the tension between the pain of losing a loved one and being gently, firmly held here by grace. Between mourning what was taken and slowly recognizing that survival itself is not betrayal — it is obedience to the life God is still sustaining. This poem carries both the ache of separation and the quiet decision to keep walking, trusting that love is not lost, only transformed, and that reunion is promised, not erased.

Reflection Prompt

What has grief asked you to surrender, and what has it quietly taught you about your strength and your faith?

Where are you learning to live again, even while still loving what you have lost?

Original Performance 


 This piece was originally performed as part of the Lips & Poetry series, where spoken word meets lived experience. Watch the original recording below to hear the rhythm, breath, and emotion that first carried these words.

Experience the Poem in Voice