You and I have had many conversations
Yet yu disregard my feelings just so you can have your own way
They say you bring protection but they’re just projecting cause it’s their inner hurts that truly keep them bound
Some times I get so wound up I can barely think
I feel like I’m sinking in sadness and the only thing you seem to do is ensure that gladness never comes around
You have me bound by your perverted feelings
Speaking love but only showing hate
I waited for you but you keep leaving me on read
As if my existence is only worth reading when it’s feeding time for you
And with all this, it still took me forever to get the clue,
You like taking my value in exchange for gluing me to more issues, keeping me subdued and starving for hope
The hope that the face you show me is just a façade and the one I fell in love with doesn’t introduce me to the squad
I nod off
Deeper and deeper
I clawed my way through life only to find out just how flawed it really is
Love stolen
Childhood broken
The notion that I could ever fix this on my own is so laughable
I already feel detachable from my brain
The fog in my mind
The confusion on my eyes
The fatigue that nearly buried me
Drained me and left me with tears uncontrollable
My soul’s so inconsolable
The arrows have found a crack in my armour
As they attempt to dishonour me
treating me like a one night stand stuck on repeat
My heart beats at the little moments of joy you control
But breaks at the toll of how quickly it all fades out of sight
The night darkens
Death feels like it quickens
My body so sickened my mouth whispers
God don’t let me die here
Here they write me a prescription for depression but it doesn’t fit the bill
I close my eyes and cry out once again
Don’t let my pain be in vain
Help my mind to feel sane
I can hear the chalk markings
The body they think is 187 has a soul attached to the God in heaven
911 rings out and my eyes open to see the perpetrator
The one who seeks my life
Who brought false affection
And corrupted my reflections with infections and injected my life’s direction was none other than
rejection
If it wasn’t for my last hearts confession
And God’s last minute protection
I’d be a frozen victim of rejection
Caught up in perilous times
And proud of an unforgiving heart
While saying that Caring was never part of the package
I would have lacked the emotional freedom to understand just how effective rejection was at taking my imperfections and making them the focus
I gently tell my spirit, it nearly broke us
Kept us hoped up and doped up
Addicted to pain but secretly craving peace
Peace often feels so out of reach and although my affliction has a sound
And a smell of bleach
I need this encounter to teach more than the leaches rejection brought with it
They’ve been a unconscious sitter attempting to feed me bitter dreams and unfinished promises
How long must this go on ?
C section this rejection and let my recovery be quick
Sometimes I get homesick but I know it’s not time yet
As long as my purpose is still a threat
I won’t give up
You didn’t pay this debt for me to quit
Sit with me for a little while
I’m fighting to find the smile within
Rejection
you
do not win
